On Martin Luther King jr. day, I should have been thinking more about “race things.” I mean, we all should have been thinking about “race things” right? Admittedly, for the past year or two, consciously or unconsciously, I have removed myself from the stressfulness of race issues in America. Mmm, definitely more conscious than not. Feeling like the situation feels very sprialling-out-of-control-what-is-really-changing-these-days-esque.
In all honesty, I would not consider myself abreast of the day to day plights of minority Americans. I hear the heavy hitting stories through my friends and Facebook, because the news these days doesn’t suit me. There are shootings and riots and concerts promoting “awareness” and stimulating “change.” So they say…
But really what’s changed? I’m constantly tempted to indulge the side of me that wants to slip out of the race conversation and into my own world about all of these issues. And for the past 24 months, I acquiesced! But blinders do not a changed world make. Neither do riots, pillaging, and slogans. Not if they don’t change minds. It’s like a loud speaker of white noise to me.
All caught up
Martin Luther King jr.’s end goal is still in progress. The idea that everyone could be on same page. We would LIKE to believe that when I watch a movie about a love story that it’s just a movie about a love story. That anyone could have been the heroine or the hero and anyone could gain a sense of happiness and hope from it. We would LIKE to believe that we can all have a politician in office that represents “the people” and their needs. But that’s not what exists. We make everything a race topic and often it has weight in reality, but the very nature of our history has set us up this way. The heroine will never just be the heroine and the politician will never just be the politician. Cause we’re all caught up in our feelings. All of us. Every single last one of us is caught up in our feelings and it’s keeping us from having actual change.
Black people are hurt and continue to be hurt daily so the idea of “letting go” of past hurts seems impossible. And the United States and White people are too proud to admit past injuries they’ve caused. It’s tough because the White people of today were not the one’s inflicting the direct pain on the Black people of that time. And it’s even more tough because Black people want someone to take responsibility for the lasting effects of the bad decision of slavery that has scared EVERYONE.
I used to get annoyed thinking about how “White people always see something they like, so they take it. They don’t ask to borrow it. They don’t ask it’s ‘okay’ to use it for a bit, they just come stomping into some land area and take it as if it was their own to begin with.” Like, can you stomp your way into a large scale apology?
My sister tried to tell me that the change I’m looking for will occur when more people are having their own conversations at the ground level of change. There is a conversation that needs to happen where EVERYONE feels safe to state their feelings and opinions openly so that we can begin to draft goals that will stick. As ignant as they may sound and “uneducated” about the “other side” as they may be. If I got mad every time someone didn’t understand how my hair worked, there would be a lot of anger in me. AAAND what kind of a world would that make? Everyone getting mad that you weren’t educated about every other person’s life. Instead let me take this opportunity to teach you something you didn’t know before. “No I didn’t cut my hair, it just shrinks like more than half it’s length when it gets wet.” But we don’t want to explain our Black hair to every person over and over and over again. Well White people don’t want to have to keep apologizing for shit they didn’t have a direct hand in, over and over and over again.
We want to educate folks, but only on our feelings. I don’t want to be “microaggressed” against, but I’m going to yell my needs at you and you better take it you intolerant prick. Also, you don’t have needs. At least not as big as my needs. You’ve had you’re time so therefore you no longer have merit in society.
Like, for real? Is this real life?
I am painting a black and white (ha ha ha literally) picture of the situation, but I am guilty too. ALL the time I act like I always know exactly how it is for White people. And the fact that they’re not allowed to be sad about “White privilege” or whatever other nonsense seemed to make sense from my lofty Black perspective. But when I get into that mindset, I begin to deteriorate the parts of me that could be receptive to another human beings experience. Acknowledgment is important, but how long (Black folks) are we going to cry and lick our wounds and how long (White folks) are you going to ignore the fact that we don’t want changes on paper we want changes in thinking.
Change is difficult
We say that we want equality, but as soon as a White dude wants to rap he can’t just be good at spittin’ rhymes, he has to be “good for a White dude.” “Rapping is OUR thing. Why can’t White people ever let us have one thing?” But we wanted equality so because they did it to us, we have to do it back. It’s not fair until we get even for stuff that you did to us. Black people don’t like change.
Cause
Change is difficult. White people say that there’s no point to Black History Month. Fine. We don’t need a whole month to acknowledge Black accomplishments, just write us back into the textbooks! Acknowledge defeats and wrongs! You know who writes the history texts? The people who dominated. Yet dominating doesn’t mean you’ve reported accurately. We need history textbooks that report the truths about what actually went down. Even when you lost. The ACTUAL story. White people don’t like change.
We wouldn’t need campaigns like #BlackLivesMatter or Donald Trump’s big mouth if a productive conversation about race issues in America were taking place. At the moment we’re at a standstill, spinning their wheels, yelling at one another, not really going anywhere.
Everybody wants to be heard. They just don’t want to listen. “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” -Stephen R. Covey
The issue is complicated. I KNOW THIS! There are layers upon layers of that factor into every aspect. I am one voice. I am one opinion. And one step away from calling it quits with this revolution of political correctness and people being so caught up in feelings that they can’t have a dialogue without a loudspeaker. I’m not equipped to handle this race stuff, but I can’t dip out of the conversation. I feel I need to start them. Agree or agree to disagree with me, but the point is to talk about it. Have a goal and take steps to achieve them.
There is so much more I could say, but there just isn’t enough time to fully express it all now. So I’ll leave you with the following thought,
“Those who have grown to power should listen as much as they talk and those who are not in power should talk as much as they listen.” -Gloria Steinem
Let’s learn to be good listeners.
I Woke Up For The Pancakes 